This past week has been a whirlwind. My house was abuzz with activity all week and I couldn't have asked for anything more.
On Thursday, Sarah, Mary, and I ran some errands and did some shopping. I found a dress thankfully. They ordered cakes while I waited in the car. The bridesmaids all found shoes and they all like them and they were even on sale! Whoo hoo! I tried my very best to find shoes for both the wedding and the shower, but size 11s are becoming harder and harder to find. We all also got a minor case of food poisoning, but it had passed before the day was done. Note to self. Nothing good ever comes of Panda Express.
On Friday, we did some more shoe shopping. You know it isn't going to end well when not one, but two stores tell you the biggest size they carry is a 10. One thing that did come out of it was the appreciation of what my mom dealt with with me on a regular basis. Man do I owe her. Onward to Saturday!
Dawn and family arrived on the scene and we met up at the Saturday Market after the bridesmaid dress fitting. Only a few minor alterations will need to be made thank goodness. The groomsmen, now numbering three rather than four, placed their orders for tuxes so that is one more thing taken care of wedding wise. At some point we made a pointless drive to Junction City to check into the motel everyone was staying at, but there was nobody there. Fun stuff. Food was being prepped and Sarah and I were sent on a mission for long toothpicks and a jicama. The jicama was easy, but we went to two different craft stores before we finally found some at le Target. I also found shoes there! I guess my rant about my feet being discriminated against was unnecessary. Oh well. Upon returning home, we were tasked with making gallons of iced tea, lemonade, and strawberry lemonade and let me tell you…that is a sticky situation.
Sunday (shower day) dawned bright and early. Dad served up a delicious breakfast of bagels, cream cheese, lox, and doughnuts. If my dress didn't fit before, it really doesn't fit now. The rest of the food was prepared and it looked incredible! Thank you Dawn, Mary, Angie, and Barbara. And a thousand other people. Thank you, Cameron, for the crepes. At some point, everybody left to decorate and I was instructed to not arrive until 3 pm. Too bad I don't take directions well and got there early at 2:45. It was gorgeous. Great people, great food, great games. I still think our toilet paper wedding dress was a winner. Cameron (the bride/model) asked for something skimpy and that is (inadvertently) what he got. Time flew by and it was time to clean up and head back to the house where dad had prepared yet another delicious feast. I still have a mouth blister from the spinach artichoke dip, but it was worth it. The evening concluded with some more games. Who knew "fishnet stockings", "boom boom room", and "tuck it in your tux" were names of nail polishes and not adult films. Needless to say, I did not win that game.
Monday morning and everyone was on their way home. Luckily they will be back in a few short weeks, so I don't have to miss them for too long.
The weekend was incredible, but there was something missing. I have incredible women in my life who are my moms and always have been and I am eternally grateful for them and what they do for me, especially this shower, but I was really missing my mom. I'm sure she would have gotten a kick out of some of the answers to "who knows the bride best" and she would have found Mary's interpretation of Jack Sparrow as hobo boat man to be quite hilarious. I know that my getting married young was not her first choice, but I know she would have loved to have helped plan that shower and been there with me. At least we got to honor her in some ways. We used paper straws, not plastic. We gave away packets of sunflower seeds as favors. We reused mason jars as glasses and there wasn't a paper plate in sight. I hope she is proud. And even though I know it wasn't her first choice, I think it worked out for the best. She got to at least come to my engagement party (we used the same plates at the shower so that counts for something right?) and she got to help me pick out my wedding dress. I just wish she could be here for the rest of the journey. I miss her everyday.
Until next time,
Karina
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Europa, Europa
Greetings!
I have just returned from watching another oh so fun film about the Holocaust for one of my classes. This evening's selection was Europa, Europa. It's pretty good if you like reading subtitles, which I don't. The whole damn thing was in German, but whatever. If you haven't seen it, it is the story of this Jewish boy who pretends to be German and eventually joins the Hitler youth in order to survive. The overarching message was that humans will do anything to survive one more day.
As strange as it sounds, this film spoke to me. It didn't speak to me on a literal level because, obviously, I have no intentions of running off to join the Nazis, but it spoke to me about my life today. My mom went through hell to try and stay on this earth with us. She endured tremendous pain and discomfort. She endured chemo and radiation more times than I can count. She did everything she could to survive one more day. But this film didn't just speak to me about mom. It spoke to me about me.
As some of you know, I struggle with the guilt I feel everyday. I struggle with the fact that I fought with her and was angry with her just days before she passed away. I struggle with the fact that I never went to see her in the hospital and I struggle with the fact that so many times I said I would be home at such and such time and actually came home much later when she was already well asleep. I struggle with the fact that I wasn't home when she fell. My biggest struggle is that I didn't go to her side to tell her I loved her one more time. I don't remember so many things she said and I didn't listen to her when I should have. I once insulted one of her sweaters. Probably more than once actually. And I feel guilty because she passed away and I just plowed on with my life. I went back to school like it was nothing. I moved forward with the wedding planning. I laughed. I smiled. I gave away her things. The things I took to remember her by are stuffed in a trunk covered in a pile of my stuff. But through the unlikeliest of places, I think I finally know why.
You do what you have to to live one more day. I had to go back to school. I had to plan the wedding. We couldn't keep her stuff forever. I laughed and I smiled because I found things that were fun because as much as I didn't want to, if I didn't, I don't know how I would have gone on living. You would find me today curled up in a ball in the baggiest pair of sweatpants money can buy. Nike of course. *insert dad cringing here*
Call me crazy for finding clarity in a film about the Holocaust. She probably would have and that makes me smile.
Until next time,
Karina
P.S. I was about to tell you about the historic inaccuracy of this movie in that they depicted heavy trench warfare, but I looked it up and apparently there was still trench warfare in WWII. Who knew?
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Six Brothers, One Tent
Well…I survived Relay for Life. In case you were not aware, 12 hours is a really long time. How about a recap, shall we?
We arrived in the MU quad at 5:30 pm and met up with our team. We were surrounded by the social fraternities and sororities. Dad once told me about frats having a lot of couches. It is no lie. They literally carried in full sized couches and set up camp. One of them even brought in a TV and a generator because nothing says saving lives like a PS4. Kappa Kappa Gamma was there with their cute sign "Kappas for a Kure". It's C-U-R-E you idiots. With a C. Sorry. A pet peeve of mine. Here is where it gets good though. We rented tents from the rec center on campus. Easy enough. I've set up a tent before. But there's a catch…you cannot stake the tent because apparently all of the power lines for the entire university are underground in the quad. One stake through a power line and all of campus would go without power. Alrighty then. This tent was a little more challenging than any tent we own, but no big deal because we can just read the instructions. Alas (earwax), there are none. Finally 4 of us manage to get this tent up and it is time for the opening ceremony and the survivor lap. I knew the survivor lap would be hard, and it was, but I also realized that so many people that are important in my life are survivors too. In fact, a girl on our team who is a member of the club we partnered with is a survivor and she took the lap. She's my age. That was humbling.
DJ Kevin was in charge of music for the night as we started our laps. He was horrible. He kept changing songs right in the middle and trying to remix things. It was not pleasant. About a mile in, it was time for the frozen t-shirt contest. Our group opted to watch rather than participate, which was a good choice. Hilarity ensued. After a few more laps, some of us returned to the tent and met up with the group that had gone to the store. Nothing says walking all night like a dozen doughnuts, 4 boxes of cookies, a gallon of sweet tea, 3 bags of sour patch kids, a super sized bag of gummy bears, two boxes of Capri Suns, and three bags of chips. At some point in there, there was the human pyramid contest which had to be redone after the gymnastics team and Sigma Chi both thought they had won. I don't know who won the rematch and I frankly don't care.
At some point, our group ended up back in the tent. This was about 10 pm. We opted to play Heads Up. For those of you that don't know, it's an app made popular by Ellen. One person holds up the phone to their forehead with the screen facing out. A word or phrase pops up on the screen and the others must describe it and hope the person holding the phone guesses right. This particular app had an adult category. Many laughs were had by all. My favorite of the night? The word was HBO. My clue was Game of Thrones network, key word network. What we all got back as a guess was penis. Ok then.
As the night wore on, we had some deserters. By the time 1 am rolled around, there were but six of us left and it was time for the luminaria ceremony. Here it is time for my rant. You've been warned.
The luminaria ceremony, for those of you not familiar with Relay for Life, is the ceremony to honor those who have lost their battle. Lit luminarias lined the quad, some dedicated, some blank. The emcee for the night got up and gave her spiel. And then they brought in a speaker to tell his story. This young gentleman was 20 years old when he was diagnosed with leukemia. He endured chemo and radiation and was eventually saved by a a bone marrow transplant. Then his brother, who is a current OSU student gave his spiel about why he has become a part of the Be the Match campaign and how he works to register bone marrow donors on campus. Great. It's great that he is doing that. It's great that they registered 61 new donors yesterday. It's great that almost everyone in our group was inspired to sign up. But you don't bring in a survivor to speak at the luminaria ceremony. People are there to mourn those that have been lost to this horrendous disease. Many people just sat down by their luminarias and cried. Many people in the crowd cried. People who have lost someone, people like me, don't want to hear your survival story. Tell it at the beginning. Tell it at the closing ceremony. Don't tell it when people are remembering those that aren't survivors. If you want a speaker, bring in someone who has lost someone. Or don't speak at all and just reflect.
Rant over. At some point around 2 am, I fell asleep in the middle of a rousing round of musical chairs. It was too late and too cold for that. I woke up at some point to find everyone else sleeping too. Then at 4 am, there was the announcement that breakfast was served. Not many takers since not many people eat breakfast at 4 am. And then 5 am rolled around at they roused us from our sleep for the closing ceremony. We, as a school, raised $40, 700 for cancer research and finding a cure. Whoo hoo! We packed up the tent, packed up our stuff and went home to sleep.
Six of us made it all twelve hours. We slept in a tent, on the ground. We got up at 5 am. We took a stand. The big question at Relay for Life is "why do you relay?" I relay for my mom. I relay for people like my mom who fought hard and just couldn't win. I relay for people like me who lost their world to cancer. I relay to end this. What started out as a "hell no" ended up being a profound and, frankly, very enjoyable way to spend 12 hours. And I got to spend it with a great group of people. If you would still like to donate, donations are accepted until the end of May.
Until next time,
Karina
P.S. Another small rant/pet peeve. Cancer encompasses more than just breast cancer. Nothing against breast cancer. I know many women who have fought and won and who have fought and lost and we absolutely need to find a cure. But that is not the only cancer out there. Just be aware.
P.P.S. I am currently the reigning Capri Sun chugging champion. Twice. If anyone is up to the challenge, come and find me. We will have a grand old time.
We arrived in the MU quad at 5:30 pm and met up with our team. We were surrounded by the social fraternities and sororities. Dad once told me about frats having a lot of couches. It is no lie. They literally carried in full sized couches and set up camp. One of them even brought in a TV and a generator because nothing says saving lives like a PS4. Kappa Kappa Gamma was there with their cute sign "Kappas for a Kure". It's C-U-R-E you idiots. With a C. Sorry. A pet peeve of mine. Here is where it gets good though. We rented tents from the rec center on campus. Easy enough. I've set up a tent before. But there's a catch…you cannot stake the tent because apparently all of the power lines for the entire university are underground in the quad. One stake through a power line and all of campus would go without power. Alrighty then. This tent was a little more challenging than any tent we own, but no big deal because we can just read the instructions. Alas (earwax), there are none. Finally 4 of us manage to get this tent up and it is time for the opening ceremony and the survivor lap. I knew the survivor lap would be hard, and it was, but I also realized that so many people that are important in my life are survivors too. In fact, a girl on our team who is a member of the club we partnered with is a survivor and she took the lap. She's my age. That was humbling.
DJ Kevin was in charge of music for the night as we started our laps. He was horrible. He kept changing songs right in the middle and trying to remix things. It was not pleasant. About a mile in, it was time for the frozen t-shirt contest. Our group opted to watch rather than participate, which was a good choice. Hilarity ensued. After a few more laps, some of us returned to the tent and met up with the group that had gone to the store. Nothing says walking all night like a dozen doughnuts, 4 boxes of cookies, a gallon of sweet tea, 3 bags of sour patch kids, a super sized bag of gummy bears, two boxes of Capri Suns, and three bags of chips. At some point in there, there was the human pyramid contest which had to be redone after the gymnastics team and Sigma Chi both thought they had won. I don't know who won the rematch and I frankly don't care.
At some point, our group ended up back in the tent. This was about 10 pm. We opted to play Heads Up. For those of you that don't know, it's an app made popular by Ellen. One person holds up the phone to their forehead with the screen facing out. A word or phrase pops up on the screen and the others must describe it and hope the person holding the phone guesses right. This particular app had an adult category. Many laughs were had by all. My favorite of the night? The word was HBO. My clue was Game of Thrones network, key word network. What we all got back as a guess was penis. Ok then.
As the night wore on, we had some deserters. By the time 1 am rolled around, there were but six of us left and it was time for the luminaria ceremony. Here it is time for my rant. You've been warned.
The luminaria ceremony, for those of you not familiar with Relay for Life, is the ceremony to honor those who have lost their battle. Lit luminarias lined the quad, some dedicated, some blank. The emcee for the night got up and gave her spiel. And then they brought in a speaker to tell his story. This young gentleman was 20 years old when he was diagnosed with leukemia. He endured chemo and radiation and was eventually saved by a a bone marrow transplant. Then his brother, who is a current OSU student gave his spiel about why he has become a part of the Be the Match campaign and how he works to register bone marrow donors on campus. Great. It's great that he is doing that. It's great that they registered 61 new donors yesterday. It's great that almost everyone in our group was inspired to sign up. But you don't bring in a survivor to speak at the luminaria ceremony. People are there to mourn those that have been lost to this horrendous disease. Many people just sat down by their luminarias and cried. Many people in the crowd cried. People who have lost someone, people like me, don't want to hear your survival story. Tell it at the beginning. Tell it at the closing ceremony. Don't tell it when people are remembering those that aren't survivors. If you want a speaker, bring in someone who has lost someone. Or don't speak at all and just reflect.
Rant over. At some point around 2 am, I fell asleep in the middle of a rousing round of musical chairs. It was too late and too cold for that. I woke up at some point to find everyone else sleeping too. Then at 4 am, there was the announcement that breakfast was served. Not many takers since not many people eat breakfast at 4 am. And then 5 am rolled around at they roused us from our sleep for the closing ceremony. We, as a school, raised $40, 700 for cancer research and finding a cure. Whoo hoo! We packed up the tent, packed up our stuff and went home to sleep.
Six of us made it all twelve hours. We slept in a tent, on the ground. We got up at 5 am. We took a stand. The big question at Relay for Life is "why do you relay?" I relay for my mom. I relay for people like my mom who fought hard and just couldn't win. I relay for people like me who lost their world to cancer. I relay to end this. What started out as a "hell no" ended up being a profound and, frankly, very enjoyable way to spend 12 hours. And I got to spend it with a great group of people. If you would still like to donate, donations are accepted until the end of May.
Until next time,
Karina
P.S. Another small rant/pet peeve. Cancer encompasses more than just breast cancer. Nothing against breast cancer. I know many women who have fought and won and who have fought and lost and we absolutely need to find a cure. But that is not the only cancer out there. Just be aware.
P.P.S. I am currently the reigning Capri Sun chugging champion. Twice. If anyone is up to the challenge, come and find me. We will have a grand old time.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Week 7
Good Morning! A small update lays ahead.
Mother's Day passed with only some incidence, which you will see if you dare to read the post below, but overall, it went as well as could be expected. This evening I rushed to finish two midterm papers that are due in 9 hours and the whole time I heard her voice. "You've had a week to do them. Why didn't you work on them a little at a time?" Because that's just not how I roll. I finished them by the way.
This Friday is Relay for Life. Oregon has decided to whip out its best attitude this spring so for this weekend's event, it will be 64 and raining. It was 82 three days ago. Urg! Nothing says a relay and sleeping off and on in a tent like cold and wet. But it's for a good cause that has some meaning to me, so hopefully it will be fine.
Friends are pouring into town in about a week for my bridal shower and I could not be any more excited. The only thing that would make it better is if mom was able to be there with us, but I know she will be looking down on us all and smiling at our sharp whit and possibly inappropriate shower games. I miss her everyday. I know she would kick all our asses at porn or polish.
Sorry for the long time between posts. It is week 7 of 11 (if you count finals week) here at Oregon State and it is time for second midterms, deciding if you are going to S/U (pass/no pass) any classes, and crying silently into your pillow while simultaneously praying to the Gods.
Tonight's post is a short one since it is already 1 am and believe it or not, I actually do sleep at night and not just until noon.
Until next time,
Karina
P.S. If you are wondering what porn or polish is, I would ask rather than google. I don't think that search will turn up any good results ;)
Mother's Day passed with only some incidence, which you will see if you dare to read the post below, but overall, it went as well as could be expected. This evening I rushed to finish two midterm papers that are due in 9 hours and the whole time I heard her voice. "You've had a week to do them. Why didn't you work on them a little at a time?" Because that's just not how I roll. I finished them by the way.
This Friday is Relay for Life. Oregon has decided to whip out its best attitude this spring so for this weekend's event, it will be 64 and raining. It was 82 three days ago. Urg! Nothing says a relay and sleeping off and on in a tent like cold and wet. But it's for a good cause that has some meaning to me, so hopefully it will be fine.
Friends are pouring into town in about a week for my bridal shower and I could not be any more excited. The only thing that would make it better is if mom was able to be there with us, but I know she will be looking down on us all and smiling at our sharp whit and possibly inappropriate shower games. I miss her everyday. I know she would kick all our asses at porn or polish.
Sorry for the long time between posts. It is week 7 of 11 (if you count finals week) here at Oregon State and it is time for second midterms, deciding if you are going to S/U (pass/no pass) any classes, and crying silently into your pillow while simultaneously praying to the Gods.
Tonight's post is a short one since it is already 1 am and believe it or not, I actually do sleep at night and not just until noon.
Until next time,
Karina
P.S. If you are wondering what porn or polish is, I would ask rather than google. I don't think that search will turn up any good results ;)
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Sometimes I Am Scared
Sometimes I am scared that I am forgetting her. Sometimes I
can’t picture her in my mind. It’s even harder when I try and remember her
before she was sick. Sometimes I have to look at pictures to remind myself.
Sometimes I am scared that I am letting her fade away. How could I forget such
an incredible person? What does that say about me? Sometimes I am scared.
My mom had a knack for knowing when I was upset. Every time
I tried to hide it, and the times I didn’t, she would hear me crying and she
would come. It didn’t matter what time it was, how old I was, or why I was
crying. Sometimes we would fight and she would be furious with me, but she
would still come. The door to her bedroom would creak open and she would come
into my room and just sit with me until I fell asleep. I keep waiting for the
creak. Why can I remember the creak and I can’t remember her voice? Sometimes I
am scared.
Sometimes I am scared that I am disappointing her. I wear
flip-flops and I throw food in the garbage. I bought a whole tub of plain Greek
yogurt, decided I didn’t like it, and just let it go to waste. In January, I
bought a sweater and it still has the tags on it. I have a cruel sense of humor
and I am selfish. I procrastinate on my homework all the time and I stopped
going to the gym. I play volleyball when I know I shouldn’t and then I complain
about it later. I have no patience. Sometimes I am scared.
Sometimes I am scared that my sister will resent me because
I got to know her for 19 years and she didn’t. Sometimes I’m scared that I
won’t be able to pass along lessons or ideas or opinions the right way. I got
to go prom dress shopping with my mom three times. I got to buy my wedding
dress with her. She did my hair and painted my nails. She came to my
graduation. She made my first scrapbook with me. Sometimes I am scared that my
sister will grow up to despise me. Sometimes I am scared.
Mom always told me that I had so much potential; that I was
smart and beautiful and driven. But what if I graduate college and can’t find a
job? What if I fail a class? What if I gain 100 pounds and dye my hair orange?
Sometimes I am scared that I won’t achieve everything she knew I could.
Sometimes I am scared.
Sometimes I am scared that I moved on too fast. I went back
to school and I pushed on with the wedding planning. I didn’t cry at her
memorial service. Sometimes I am scared that it will look like I don’t care. I
am scared that she is watching over me and feels unloved because I laugh a
thousand times more than I cry and when people tell me that they are sorry for
my loss, I say it’s ok. It’s not ok. Sometimes I am scared.
Sometimes I am scared. Sometimes I am scared and I desperately
want to hear that door creak just one more time.
Until next time,
Karina
Friday, May 8, 2015
Two Essays And A Police Officer Walk Into A Dining Center
As Mother's Day draws ever nearer, I have been pushing it more and more from my mind. Hopefully this year will pass quickly and without incident. I am blessed to have even more excitement going on in my life at school to keep me occupied.
Update from my last post. The unknown classroom disruptor was arrested yesterday in McNary Dining Center after he was found flipping over tables. Word on the street says that he was extremely high on marijuana. At least now we can keep the doors open again seeing as how the hotter it gets outside, the hotter it gets in Moreland Hall. Seriously. It's like the deepest level of hell in there. Unless you believe in Dante's hell, in which case it would be freezing, which it is not.
Midterms are almost over. I had one on Wednesday that hopefully went well. Lacan and Althusser are pretty much the same right? Both a blessing and a curse, however, is my Holocaust in Literature and Film class. We spent last night watching Schindler's List. It is not any less depressing the second time around. Although, this time I happened to notice that every once in a while, when someone gets shot, feathers fly out. Not funny, but it did lighten the mood a bit. He also assigned our midterm (it's the end of week 6 out of 10 folks): 2 prompts, each requiring a 4-5 page response. Here's the kicker…10 point font. Who can even read 10 point font?! That's a cruel trick sir, a cruel trick.
Yesterday was also the pledge class social event. We played beach volleyball. My thoughts yesterday? "I can totally play beach volleyball. I used to play volleyball. Bring it on." My thoughts today? "I am way too old for this." My knees hurt, which, in truth is my fault. I'm not supposed to be playing volleyball. Also, my arms are bruised and covered in popped blood vessels. It's real pretty. If anyone asks, I think I'm going to have to go with "you should see the other guy."
Tonight is girls' night. This will be a tough one for me. The last time I went to the restaurant in question was with mom. It was right after her surgery and she obviously couldn't eat or drink. Dad, Karissa, and her came up to have dinner with me at school. It was cruel to take her to a restaurant and I feel horrible about it every day. Of course she told me it was fine, but I know it was hard. Every time I drive by the place, I think of that night. Hopefully going inside won't call for waterproof mascara since, you know, I don't have any thanks to mom's voice in my head. "Never wear waterproof makeup." I can't even remember why, but I don't and I never will.
I hope everyone has an enjoyable Mother's Day. Enjoy those cheesy crafts and overpriced cards. I never thought I would miss them.
Until next time,
Karina
Update from my last post. The unknown classroom disruptor was arrested yesterday in McNary Dining Center after he was found flipping over tables. Word on the street says that he was extremely high on marijuana. At least now we can keep the doors open again seeing as how the hotter it gets outside, the hotter it gets in Moreland Hall. Seriously. It's like the deepest level of hell in there. Unless you believe in Dante's hell, in which case it would be freezing, which it is not.
Midterms are almost over. I had one on Wednesday that hopefully went well. Lacan and Althusser are pretty much the same right? Both a blessing and a curse, however, is my Holocaust in Literature and Film class. We spent last night watching Schindler's List. It is not any less depressing the second time around. Although, this time I happened to notice that every once in a while, when someone gets shot, feathers fly out. Not funny, but it did lighten the mood a bit. He also assigned our midterm (it's the end of week 6 out of 10 folks): 2 prompts, each requiring a 4-5 page response. Here's the kicker…10 point font. Who can even read 10 point font?! That's a cruel trick sir, a cruel trick.
Yesterday was also the pledge class social event. We played beach volleyball. My thoughts yesterday? "I can totally play beach volleyball. I used to play volleyball. Bring it on." My thoughts today? "I am way too old for this." My knees hurt, which, in truth is my fault. I'm not supposed to be playing volleyball. Also, my arms are bruised and covered in popped blood vessels. It's real pretty. If anyone asks, I think I'm going to have to go with "you should see the other guy."
Tonight is girls' night. This will be a tough one for me. The last time I went to the restaurant in question was with mom. It was right after her surgery and she obviously couldn't eat or drink. Dad, Karissa, and her came up to have dinner with me at school. It was cruel to take her to a restaurant and I feel horrible about it every day. Of course she told me it was fine, but I know it was hard. Every time I drive by the place, I think of that night. Hopefully going inside won't call for waterproof mascara since, you know, I don't have any thanks to mom's voice in my head. "Never wear waterproof makeup." I can't even remember why, but I don't and I never will.
I hope everyone has an enjoyable Mother's Day. Enjoy those cheesy crafts and overpriced cards. I never thought I would miss them.
Until next time,
Karina
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
On A Lighter Note
Sorry last time's post was so glum. Lucky for me, the past few days have offered some excitement! Let's start with Studies in British Poetry on Monday. Let me set the scene. Here we are, 10 am, in our ridiculously hot classroom going over some Percy Bysshe Shelley (Bysshe please). Suddenly, the door bangs open and standing in the doorway is this guy. Average height, average weight, college age. He points to our professor and shouts at the top of his lungs "you all better pay attention to that M*****F*****" and then slams the door behind him. Silence. Do any of you know him? No. Is he one of your students? No. Ok then. We will just be locking that door now. Apparently we were not the only targets. According to campus security, he also visited a psychology class and, upon entering the coffee shop in the Memorial Union, cleared his throat quite loudly so everyone would look at him, flipped them all the bird with both hands, and disappeared. Stay classy OSU. Stay classy.
Also on Monday, they announced who would be headlining Dam Jam this year (Dam Jam is a "free" concert for students in the MU quad every spring). Lucky for us, they got someone good this year. B.o.B will be headlining Dam Jam! Now, why the air quotes you ask? Dam Jam has been free for students for years and years. This year, it costs a whopping $5 which, in my opinion, is a pretty damn good deal to see B.o.B in concert plus whoever is opening for him. However, I seem to stand alone. There is quite the uproar over this outlandish price tag. Also inciting uproar this week? Protests in the MU quad disrupting midterms, the fact the OSU only pays its student workers once a month, and there were sheep in the quad courtesy of the OSU sheep club. Yes. They are a real club. They have fancy jackets and everything. Also a real club? The OSU polo team. They have a wooden horse for demonstrations. Anyone feel like climbing inside and storming a city?
Onwards to Tuesday! I went to the dentist. Cavity free for 20 years my friends! Nathan and I also hosted a Cinco de Mayo party if you consider his roommate and two of our friends a party. We had tacos if you consider tortillas with holes in the middle part of a taco. Do not ask how they got holes in the middle because I cannot say. They were whole when I left the room and when they came to the table, there were holes in the middle. Boys.
Here's to hoping for more exciting days!
Until next time,
Karina
Also on Monday, they announced who would be headlining Dam Jam this year (Dam Jam is a "free" concert for students in the MU quad every spring). Lucky for us, they got someone good this year. B.o.B will be headlining Dam Jam! Now, why the air quotes you ask? Dam Jam has been free for students for years and years. This year, it costs a whopping $5 which, in my opinion, is a pretty damn good deal to see B.o.B in concert plus whoever is opening for him. However, I seem to stand alone. There is quite the uproar over this outlandish price tag. Also inciting uproar this week? Protests in the MU quad disrupting midterms, the fact the OSU only pays its student workers once a month, and there were sheep in the quad courtesy of the OSU sheep club. Yes. They are a real club. They have fancy jackets and everything. Also a real club? The OSU polo team. They have a wooden horse for demonstrations. Anyone feel like climbing inside and storming a city?
Onwards to Tuesday! I went to the dentist. Cavity free for 20 years my friends! Nathan and I also hosted a Cinco de Mayo party if you consider his roommate and two of our friends a party. We had tacos if you consider tortillas with holes in the middle part of a taco. Do not ask how they got holes in the middle because I cannot say. They were whole when I left the room and when they came to the table, there were holes in the middle. Boys.
Here's to hoping for more exciting days!
Until next time,
Karina
Sunday, May 3, 2015
On That Day
In the wake of this weekend's Mom's Weekend at OSU and in preparation for next Sunday (Mother's Day), I have been doing some reflecting.
The day before the bleed, Mary and Sarah, incredible family friends of ours, were in town to go wedding dress shopping with me. I was seriously considering calling in and bailing on work. Mom and I got into quite the argument about how I needed to go to work and not doing so was a poor choice. In the end, I stomped off to my car and went to work. Upon returning home, I was still a bit hostile. I mean, how dare she make me be a decent adult. Geez.
The next morning was another work day. I was in the shower when Mary knocks on the door and tells me that I need to get dressed right away because the paramedics are on the way to take my mom to the hospital. Ok then. By the time I threw on some clothes, they were loading her into the ambulance. And I just stood in the kitchen watching them drive away, a fact that haunts me everyday. What happened after that was a blur. Call Sears and tell them that I am not coming into work today. Call Nathan at work and tell him what happened. Assure Nathan that he does not have to leave work, that I'll be ok. Learn that hydrogen peroxide takes blood out of fabrics like some kind of morbid magic trick. On that day, I thought it would be ok.
Over the next few days, I watched the blog. I waited to hear that the tube change was successful. I waited to hear that everything would be ok, like I thought it would be. I wandered around campus and I unpacked my things in my new dorm room. I spent far too much money on textbooks I would hardly use. Before school started, I drove back to Eugene. On that day, I got the call. Mom would be moved to hospice care that day. She would not come home. On that day, I went numb.
I can tell you what clothing I was wearing the day that I walked into the hospice for the first time. I can tell you what very person in the room was wearing. I remember everything about those days. On the day she passed, I loaded my clean laundry into the car and stopped by the hospice on my way to Corvallis for school. Sometime that afternoon, some of us went to get food and when we got back, she was gone. When we got home, we ate some pizza. We went to sleep. I woke up sick. On that day, a part of me died too.
So many times over the past two years, mom asked me to come see her in the hospital. I didn't go. We argued about who knows what. I wasn't there when she fell and I stood in the kitchen and watched her drive away. The only thing I can hope for is that she knew that I was there at the end.
Until next time,
Karina
The day before the bleed, Mary and Sarah, incredible family friends of ours, were in town to go wedding dress shopping with me. I was seriously considering calling in and bailing on work. Mom and I got into quite the argument about how I needed to go to work and not doing so was a poor choice. In the end, I stomped off to my car and went to work. Upon returning home, I was still a bit hostile. I mean, how dare she make me be a decent adult. Geez.
The next morning was another work day. I was in the shower when Mary knocks on the door and tells me that I need to get dressed right away because the paramedics are on the way to take my mom to the hospital. Ok then. By the time I threw on some clothes, they were loading her into the ambulance. And I just stood in the kitchen watching them drive away, a fact that haunts me everyday. What happened after that was a blur. Call Sears and tell them that I am not coming into work today. Call Nathan at work and tell him what happened. Assure Nathan that he does not have to leave work, that I'll be ok. Learn that hydrogen peroxide takes blood out of fabrics like some kind of morbid magic trick. On that day, I thought it would be ok.
Over the next few days, I watched the blog. I waited to hear that the tube change was successful. I waited to hear that everything would be ok, like I thought it would be. I wandered around campus and I unpacked my things in my new dorm room. I spent far too much money on textbooks I would hardly use. Before school started, I drove back to Eugene. On that day, I got the call. Mom would be moved to hospice care that day. She would not come home. On that day, I went numb.
I can tell you what clothing I was wearing the day that I walked into the hospice for the first time. I can tell you what very person in the room was wearing. I remember everything about those days. On the day she passed, I loaded my clean laundry into the car and stopped by the hospice on my way to Corvallis for school. Sometime that afternoon, some of us went to get food and when we got back, she was gone. When we got home, we ate some pizza. We went to sleep. I woke up sick. On that day, a part of me died too.
So many times over the past two years, mom asked me to come see her in the hospital. I didn't go. We argued about who knows what. I wasn't there when she fell and I stood in the kitchen and watched her drive away. The only thing I can hope for is that she knew that I was there at the end.
Until next time,
Karina
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